Christmas has gone to the dogs…

I am SO sorry for being a bad blog mummy… I’ve been knocked over by a bad cold and flu, swept away with the snow storms hitting the UK right now and entrenched in my novel, BLISS, which has taught me how difficult it is to write a thriller / mystery!Am desperately hoping my cold will go in time for Crimbo otherwise I’ll be one grumpy little elf!

I promise to be a better blogger next year (one of my many New Year Resolutions which also includes getting healthier and fitter so I don’t get ill like I am right now; and having a go at writing an adult novel…).

For now, let me wish you all an amazing Christmas and New Year and leave you with the picture above of my gorgeous Jack Russell Archie who reluctantly let me dress him up in tinsel a few weeks ago…

x

I heart Halloween!

I just love Halloween. It’s as magical and scrumptious as Crimbo as far as I’m concerned and each year, I like to do something special to celebrate from visiting Tetbury Castle for an all-night ghost vigil (read about it in this blog post) to making an impulsive and terrifying visit to Clophill Church, an abandoned church atop a hill in the mists of an old village close to my town…  categorically the scariest experience of my life (read more in this blog post).

And naturally, this year is no different. I’m gonna be chased by zombies and pushed from sheer drops during the Thorpe Park Fright Night experience tomorrow. I-can-not-wait. And to celebrate Hallo’ Eve,  I’m gonna watch either The Ring (again! Complete classic) The Last House on the Left tonight (though I SO wish Paranormal Activity was out in the UK right now, looks amazing – see trailer here).

And OMG, did you hear about the 400-year-old witch-repellent found under a UK car park (article here)? It’s what’s known as a ‘Bellarmine’ jar and was found filled with urine, nail clippings and hair *barf* to ward off evil spirits. There’s gotta be a YA novel idea in there somewhere, right Speaking of witches, I interviewed an academic this week about his research into the decline of magic in the 17th century, see the article here. Pretty interesting stuff.

And now onto writing. I am SO inspired by Halloween and am desperate to write a fabulous ghost story one day but just need to come up with THE idea. In the meantime, I was checking out some of the novels I’d started and never finished (when I come up with ideas, I like to experiment with them, write a few thousand words, see if it works for me). And I thought one of them could make a real good short story for Halloween so have been tweaking it. Here’s a little extract, provisionally entitled The laps of angels (hell yeah, I’m jumping on the angel bandwagon for this one ) It’s real rough and ready, written way before I really learnt the tools of the trade and needs some work but hey, it’s all fun, right?

THE LAPS OF ANGELS

The first person I stopped from jumping off the cliff looked just like my dead sister, Mia.

At first I didn’t notice her in the mist, just saw the usual heap of rubbish in the distance –  broken prams and discarded brollies heaped like bones in the misty moonlight, lorded over by the half smashed statue of an angel.

It was my fifth night here since my sister had died, five nights of waiting for the chance to stop someone from jumping like she had; all alone in the dark as I battled with an insane desire to jump myself, the ominous air around me pushing me towards the edge.

But then I saw the girl, standing there in the moonlight like the ghost she wanted to be with her grey clothes and hair so fair it was almost silver. Her arms were spread out against the misty black sky like she was saying to death, “Hello old pal, old friend, old luv, take me into your arms.” And there was something about the way she held herself, the tone of the skin on her outstretched fingers that made me think of my sister.

Could it be….?

I stepped forward, heart pumping. “Mia?”

She slowly turned her head, and the temperature plummeted. I stepped forward, the freezing cold air pressing against me , pushing me towards her; urging me to the edge…

That’s all for now…. xxx

(pic credit: ginnerobot)

GSCE metaphors (LOL!)

Someone sent me these today – real examples of metaphors and similes used in GCSE exams (I think some of mine could be included in this list )

 

The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre 

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall

 

I met Mary Queen of Scots!

Last night, I met Mary Queen of Scots.

No, seriously, I did!

She possessed the curator of the very dramatic, very beautiful Tetbury Castle where myself and two (mad, deluded) friends decided to spend the night.

The curator was just sitting there, chatting away about the history of the place when all of a sudden, her head snapped up and her eyes started glazing over. ”Do you mind if Mary Queen of Scots pays a visit?” she asked in a strained voice. I kinda craned my neck around the room, thinking ‘WTF? Isn’t she, like, dead?’

But then the curator started rasping and swaying her head around (so Exorcist!)  and launched into a random tirade in a truly bizarre accent. “I am Mary Queen of Scots,” she moaned.

When she snapped out of it, she asked if we had any questions. I was wondering where the loos were and when tea would be served but didn’t think that was the kinda question she had in mind.

Anyways, that kinda set the tone for the rest of the night (all 7-8 hours of it) which included ‘ghost vigils’ in the dark where various mediums (tried to) call up spirits; pushing a glass around the table (no, I didn’t push but someone did. A dead someone?) and dowsing. I actually luuuurved dowsing, it was the most convincing part of the evening. You basically hold metal rods and ask questions and they sway in a certain way to say yes and no. I asked if I was gonna get published next year and it said yes! But it’s only now I realise of course I’m gonna get published, I get published every week. I meant, will my novel get published? I also asked if I was gonna marry Jared Leto but it said no so I do question their accuracy!

So, that was our haunted night. Not amazingly scary but at least I can tick it off my ‘things to do before I die’ list. A Halloween soiree with friends on Thursday night was actually much scarier – cleavages, pork pies and confessions. It was like an office party at The Sun HQ! More here with a video (evidence) here …

I could go into more detail about both events but I’ve had two hours’ sleep so am going back to bed.

x

My So Called Life

I’ve been talking mainly like this today: ‘Like, OMG, life is so totally, like, empty sometimes, you know? I mean, I have this philosophy about Mondays in particular and I can so see where the Boomtown Rats were going when they, like, sang about hating Mondays, you know?’

The reasons for this lies in the fact that I’ve watched about 12 episodes of the 90s teen angst drama that is ‘My So Called Life’? Remember it? The one with Claire Danes and my hero, Jared Leto *swoon*. Okay, so I like to say, like, ‘like’ a lot anyway but you know, it’s properly inspired my speech patterns this week …

Anyhoo, this suggests I am mega-lazy and just spend my weekends watching teen dramas with hot guys. No, that’s only half my weekend, ya’ll!. I actually had gastric flu and I did some writing, despite puking and stuff.

And, god damn it, I cracked my opening! I’ve managed to combine decent, polished first-person narrative with the authenticity of a teen voice and blog (I think). So huzzah for that! Am now ploughing through more editing and adding in some stuff to make the over-arching moral pack some more punches.

So, like, that’s my life okay? x

Pink lady puking

Me pre-puke

I went to a fancy dress party in Wales last night dressed as a Pink Lady and I puked on my friend’s windowsill. While still wearing my pink wig.

I am never ever ever gonna drink ever again. Ever.

Writing fever may lead to divorce

Feel so sorry for hubby. All I do is write, write, write. And when I’m not writing, I think about writing. I’m in a daze and barely respond to his questions. To anyone’s questions.

I can understand why writers are so solitary. It’s such a solitary business. Well, actually, I lie. My good friend Bertie is also working on a project and we talk non-stop about our work.

But if you ain’t a writer or interested in writing, then forget it! I’m gone.

x

Two eyes

I thought I’d share a really cute lil thang I received from my mate.

Do you know the relation between your two eyes? They blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together. Even though they never see each other…Friendship should be just like that!!!!!!!! Life is like hell without FRIENDS

You know, despite my scathing posts about various cling-ons from my past, I am a soft soul at heart. I mean, really. Really I am! I love my friends, they’re a beautiful bunch. And when I say ‘friends’ that can include a variety of odd and sods, from people I went to uni with who I see 3-4 times a year to my girly girls who I meet for dinner every week to the girls I work with who I meet every month or so for dinner, drinks and gossips. O and my family – my mum, cousins, aunts.

I do find it difficult to see my girls (and boys, cos I have boy mates too) as much as I’d like but I don’t feel I need to. Sure, it’s important to keep in touch via email and so on. But it’s not essential to see someone all the time.

I do feel people use the old ‘we don’t need to see each other all the time  to still be mates you know’. Well, of course that’s true, life is busy. But I do think you need to maintain some sort of regular content – whether that be via email; phone; blogs or regular meet-ups, say twice a year. Otherwise, you fall into the ‘old friends’ category and start losing that closeness.

Anyway, soppy me hey!

 x

PS. Plugging away at the old novel, I really fancy the main male character, Sal (don’t tell the hubby).

Welcome to the world sis!

If I were to tell you that my little sister is 30 years younger than me, what would your reaction be? Well, the beautiful little blighter arrived in this world yesterday at 2am! 

My mum (who, incidentally, isn’t the bearer of my lil sister. God no! My dad’s wife is, aka ’stepmummy’ as I call her) told someone at her work about the happy arrival of her ex-hubby’s baby (go figure!) and that person was like, ‘O man, what a shame’. What the … ?! Why’s it a shame? This beautiful little bundle of quarter Sri Lankan, 100% Keynser joy is just that: a joy. There’s no sadness here.

But then I guess she symbolises this shifting family landscape and for some, that is a sad thing (they long for the ‘good old days’, like the family in the photo above, who look VERY happy right?). But for me, it’s mainly good. Families have changed. They’ve evolved … we’ve evolved. People can have 1,2,3 fathers – even more. They can have aunts that are years younger than them. They can have bother-in-laws that are only a few days old! It’s kinda crazy but I love it!

The fact of the matter is that my little sis is gonna be one happy little girl, surrounded by lots of adult figures to guide and shield her, and lots of little friends when her siblings ‘hatch’ babies in the future.

OK, so she’ll be an aunt when she’s still a toddler (maybe … ?!) but who better to teach my baby how to gurgle and coo than her wise old aunt?!

x

PS. The novel’s going OK, trying to get to grips with how ‘real’ people react to national emergencies. I think their first reaction is to reach for their mobile. If I have time, will post about this in the next few days …