Cheeky cow!

I was in Tesco at lunch (god I love that place) and was standing behind this strange lady in the queue – she was HAPPY! I mean, like, really happy and zippy and smiley and ‘o, isn’t life wonderful’. I thought ‘Christ, this is odd – it’s January, it’s raining, there’s another 11 months till Christmas – why’s she so happy?’.

But then something occurred to me. Yeh, it IS January – maybe it was one of her resolutions, to be realllllly happy – and that in turn made me think, maybe she’s usually a grumpy, aggressive, rude bitch.

So I shoved my organic sweet potatoes on the belt thing (2008 = try out organic stuff) and gave her a filthy look … cheeky cow!

Bud Buds has a plan

Happy 2008 ya’ll! So sorry for my absence but I’ve been sledging around Lapland, cramming chocolate into my cakehole and pouring Bucks Fizz down my neck! But now I am back, all depressed and grumpy, perfect for the wonderful month that is January.

 I’m a big fan of New Year Resolutions. I like the way they play hard to get, running away from you after only a few weeks! Anyways, one of my resolutions was to chill like Gautamu Buddha, the Enlightened One. But Christ on a bike, I am being TESTED! I bought myself this darn beautiful and sparkling new laptop for Christmas so I can really get to grips with writing my novel (and yes, I admit it, the ability to check out perezhilton.com while watching America’s Next Top Model was also an alluring reason for purchasing said laptop). 

 So, I have my lovely laptop and yesterday, I purchased a lovely wireless router for half the usual price from someone at work. So off I toddle to set it all up.But for-the-love-of-God, will the damn ROUTER WORK?! Can I disentangle myself from these cyber wires and become wireless? NO, of COURSE not. I have tried everything but it will not accept my BT password.

Having trawled the net, I discover that one of the reasons for this is that BT likes to play Bad Cop with routers that aren’t their’s. I could erupt into full blown fury; call BT and scream filth down the phone. But no, let’s stop for a moment – what would old Bud Buds do (OK, he’d throw away the laptop and proclaim that I must break myself free from the snares of materialism but f*** dat!!). I’m thinking he would see a plan in this. That this is not the time to write my novel … that I must wait as fate dictates my writing direction.

Alternatively, I could pay £40 for someone to come set me up. Which would mean, officially, I would’ve spent double on my Xmas present to myself than what I spent on my nearest and dearest.

O well, charity begin with ME and all that …. x