Treat the choccie muffins mean, keep ‘em keen

I was chewing on a low-fat choccie muffin today and dropped a bit on the floor. Usually, I’d grab it up and stuff it in my cakehole (waste not, diet not). But someone walked past and I just couldn’t bring myself to pick it up off the floor. Why didn’t I pick it up off the floor? Was I ashamed I’d look like a dirty little fugly scum ho? No, it was more than that – I didn’t want to look needy. I didn’t want to look like I really needed that last morsel of low-fat choccie heavan. I wanted to play hard to get with that choccie muffin.

That got me thinking. Does that old adage “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” also apply to the chocolatey morsals of our life? Is there an innate aversion within most of us to appear needy? To even knowing the needy (when I say needy, I don’t mean needy as in homeless / foodless / ill etc. Read on to see what I mean)?

Frankly, my dear, there damn well is. Certainly for me anyway, and many of my nearest and dearest. It’s not just the chocolate muffins and men in our lives as well – it’s also those random people ’ships’ you float by in life. They seem like fun at first. You hop into their ship every now and again, they hop into your’s. The Pinot Grigio flows as fast as the laughter. But then your ship starts to get a bit over crowded so you try to move away; float toward your usual familiar waters. But before you know it, you hear a disturbance, you turn around and they’re clinging for dear life onto your ship. The worse thing about this all isn’t their neediness. No, it’s your response to their neediness – it’s the way you stamp on their fingers and they’re spiralling off into dark, murky waters.